Sometimes, love is the only remedy to a wounded heart. Let’s see how with part 4 of Fragment of blue.
Genre: MM romance, yaoi
Warning: adult content, R18
Spoilers alert for the ending of Back in the rain.
Drew’s voice startled him, and he realized that he was holding his breath and had cold sweat running on the nape of his neck. He forced himself to breathe normally, hoping Drew wouldn’t notice. He wasn’t going to have a panic attack and ruin their trip now.
“Dan?” Drew was worrying for him. He had to say something. He wanted to say that he was okay, but he wasn’t, and he didn’t lie to Drew. Not anymore.
“Sorry, I was overthinking.”
“Was it something I said? Do you want me to stop the car?”
“No, no, don’t worry. It’s not that bad. I’ll look out the window and relax.”
“We can stop at any time. Even if you want to drink some water, or if you want a hug or something.”
That sure was tempting. The bare thought of Drew’s arms around him made him feel better already.
“No, I can’t wait to arrive. There’s a place I want to show you once we get to Pholis.”
“And don’t forget I promised you sex as soon as we check in.”
Dan smiled. “If you don’t fall asleep like you did the last time.”
Drew actually pouted. Yes, he truly was adorable. “I was really tired last time.”
“You’re tired now, too.”
“Are you kidding? I’ve never been more awake. I could fuck you now and go at it for hours.”
“… if you say so.”
“You’ll see! Let’s bet tonight’s dinner on it.”
Dan chuckled. It was basically a win-win for him. Either he got amazing sex or a free dinner. “Okay,” he said, looking forward to see how their bet would end.
A couple of hours later, as he was getting out of the shower in their hotel room, he figured he’d have to settle for the free dinner. Drew had taken a shower first and was supposed to wait for him in bed… Predictably, he had fallen asleep. Dan sighed and knelt by the bed to look at Drew’s sleeping face. His hair was still wet and falling messily on his forehead. Looking closely, Dan could see in those brown strands of hair some golden threads, that became visible only during the Summer. Drew’s skin was already slightly tanned, even though they had gone to the beach only once with their friends a couple of weeks before, and Dan found himself smiling at the thought that even the sun loved Drew to the point it’d never burn him. Dan’s mouth watered as his eyes moved hungrily over his man’s body: broad shoulders, well-trained and defined muscles, taut stomach, strong arms… he was so fucking perfect.
He’s too much for you, said again that voice in the back of his mind, freezing his blood in his veins.
You’re just a cheap whore.
He’ll figure it out soon.
A suffocating anxiety arose from his gut, spreading throughout his body. His chest grew heavy and his limbs lost strength. His wrists hurt as if someone had cut them open. He gasped for hair as the room walls shrank around him. He felt nauseous.
The panic attack had started. Dan tried to rationalize his fear and even out his breath. It wasn’t as bad as other times. He wasn’t seeing things, and he wasn’t suffocating. He was in a safe place. Nobody was going to hurt him. Nobody was going to abandon him. Drew wasn’t going to leave him. He loved him.
Drew moaned softly in his sleep, turning on his side. Dan’s eyes dropped on him, on his sweet mouth and relaxed face, and slowly his heartbeat calmed down. He swallowed some air, regaining control over his body. He was crying, he realized, but otherwise he was okay. He needed to get some oxygen to his head and calm down. Careful not to wake Drew, he put on a shirt and his trunks and left the room to take a walk on the seashore.
Dan loved the sea; he loved its smell, its noises and the way it hid a whole different world under that immense, blue and shiny expanse of water. When he was a child he would spend hours just swimming and playing in the water, trying to discover the secrets of the marine world. He had taught Drew how to swim, when they were 8 or 9 years old. Growing up, he had started to appreciate also relaxing on the seashore. Looking at the horizon, watching the flocks of birds on the water, listening to the waves. No matter how hard his life had gotten, the sea made him feel at peace. And there he finally found peace now, breathing in the salty air of the early afternoon and feeling the sun on his wet skin. On the other side of the beach there was a beach-volleyball tournament, and probably because of that, that part of the shore was completely deserted.
“You can’t stay away from the water, can you?” Drew’s voice sounded amused behind him.
Dan turned around to look at him and catcalled.“God, you’re hot.”
Drew laughed and dropped on the sand by his side, sliding his arms around his waist and pulling him into a deep kiss. Dan melted completely into him, roaming his arms on his back and feeling how hot his skin was under his fingers, how firm his body was, how strongly he was holding him closer. Drew ravished his mouth greedily, biting his lips, sucking on his tongue and leaving him breathless. A long moan escaped his lips as Drew delicately pulled his hair, forcing him to drop his head back and bare his throat for him; he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the bruising kisses Drew laid on his neck.
“Let’s go back to the hotel,” Drew whispered hoarsely. “I owe you a dinner and a fuck, and I can’t wait until tonight for the second.”
Dan whined. He didn’t want to go back to the hotel. He wanted him, now and there.
“Love…” Drew looked at him with an apologetic expression.
“Public Indecency, I know…” Dan kissed him again, his hands running through his hair and his body drawn to him, closer and closer. He was so drugged with him. “Drew… I know a place. Will you come with me?”
Drew stared at him like he was fighting the instinct to turn him on his fours and fuck him into the sand. “Take me anywhere,” he said then, his eyes glazing with want.
Dan stood up, glad nobody else was there on the beach to see how evidently excited he was, and offered his hand to Drew. He led him inside the water, and Drew looked confused for a moment.
“You said I could take you anywhere,” he underlined with a sly smile.
“Better make it worth it, or my balls won’t forgive you,” Drew said, diving into the cold water.
Dan jumped in right behind him, and swam forward, getting ahead of him.
“Follow me,” he said, leading the way around the rocks that signed naturally the end of the beach.
He turned around, from time to time, to look at Drew’s amazed face as he swam in that clear, brilliant-blue water. Small fish were gathering around the rocks, and as they passed beside them, they’d make their escape in every direction, coloring the sea around them like paper confetti. Dan couldn’t suppress a smile as he looked at Drew’s eyes shining with happiness. After a little while, they reached a breach in the rocks that led to a small cave. Instead of going in the cave, Dan reached for a little scab of rock on its side and pulled himself up. It wasn’t too steep nor slippery, so they climbed it easily. They walked on the rocks in the direction where they came from, and soon they reached a small area where the sea, sliding between a rock and the other, created a small natural pool, surrounded by rocks and isolated from the rest of the world. The rocky mountain right above them protected them from the sunlight; it was like being in a private, small oasis in the sea.
“This is my secret place,” Dan said, sitting down on the rocks and splashing his feet in the water. “I found it last year, before we got together. I used to come here and think, when I needed some quiet.”
Drew sat beside him and passed an arm around his shoulders.
“It’s beautiful,” he said, his gaze so intense it could burn him alive. “You’re beautiful.”
Without another word, Drew crashed their lips together.
[part 5 online toworrow]